Here is a list of some of my all time, biggest romance novel pet peeves. I was in a romance book Facebook group recently and someone asked “Do you have any pet peeves about romance books?”, to which I said, “I have a list!” so here it is for you!
Romance trends I wish they would cancel
The arched brows, the smirks, the winks, the lip biting and the lip wetting – STOP! These are a lot of facial ticks!
Men smelling “woodsy” or “like the ocean”. That does not sound appealing to me. Woodsy? So he smells like a bunch of trees? And the ocean stinks! It’s a salty, briny smell! That’s just disgusting.
Women smelling like coconuts or vanilla. zzzzzz…. So they are boring? Non-threatening? Okay, whatever.
Calling the cooch a “core” or “channel“. Just. no.
Okay, the cooch smelling and tasting like fruit or honey. What are these women doing to their coochies? That’s not possible. Why? Why are you doing this women authors?
Every time a woman gets stressed she does something like stress cleans or stress exercises. COME ON! Who are these impossible women? Why can’t your character just mess up like me? Eat some pancakes, not clean and do something unhealthy?
All. the. exercising.
All. the. blushing. People don’t blush that much in real life.
The not practising safe sex. Come on authors. It’s 2021. Put the condom on. Have the sex. Take it off.
The need for the couple to procreate in order for them to have a HEA. Why are babies necessary? Families can be anything these days. It’s important to see that.
Cold showers. They don’t work. Stop doing the cold showers.
Describing size six to ten women as “curvy“. Shut. Up. Do I need to explain this part? Most women in North America are size 12-16. At least! Read Olivia Dade’s novels.
Celebrities in romance novels having sex outdoors (this one cracks me up and makes me nuts) and not expecting to be caught somehow. “Gee, there was someone with a camera?”
Manwhores. Alpha-holes. Just stahp. Give me a cinnamon role male character.
Of course, this is all tongue-in-cheek and said with so much love. I love romance books. So, if your main character must smirk while quirking his eyebrow and wetting his lips, have at it!
What are some of your romance novel pet peeves? Did I cover everything?
Check out this review of The Wedding Date Disaster in which there is no lip licking. Here’s my list of favorite things about romance novels.
I don’t like when they refer to the vagina as “sex” like her sex…… it annoys me why can’t you just call it for what it is. Her vagina…. like why can’t you use that word or pussy? I don’t like how the guy always has to ask about the condom either why can’t you just put one on? why do you have to ask about it first and emphasize the fact that you are wearing one or that she does not want to have sex yet without one…… Yeah, the whole baby trope is annoying how most of the books always end with a baby or surprise baby. Not all people procreate in a healthy relationship. I feel you on that one.
I agree with everything you said! 😀